November 02, 2013

Rev Up Gratitude

It's November. Here in the U.S.A. that means Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Each year, on facebook, I see people posting a gratitude each day for the month of November. At first, I thought it was cliche. Last year I decided to try it.  For me it wasn't even just about Thanksgiving. My birthday is December 1st. Last year I was turning 40. I thought it would be a great way to end the 30s and move into the 40s.

The results have stayed with me.

We often hear about the power of gratitude. It isn't just about saying thank you. It's about tapping into the well inside of you that swells with joy when you think about all you have been blessed with. Some days it is hard to get to that well. It is so worth it when we you do!

When I was young my favorite month was December. Not only did it start with my birthday but it was full of Christmas lights, music and magic. I thought Christmas was the greatest holiday ever created. Somewhere along the way the magic went away. I no longer found joy in the lights. I barely managed to enjoy my children on Christmas day. I still don't know what really happened. I just know the magic went away.

Last year, after my November month of gratitude, I felt it. I loved the lights. I sang loudly with the music. I was excited for all the Christmas joy and I felt the magic. I focused more deeply on what Christmas really meant to me. When they say that gratitude is powerful they aren't kidding.

Since December 15th I have been posting a gratitude a day into a closed facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/HSgratchallenge/ The goal was to post a thing we are thankful for each day for 365 days. I am positive I will continue on. The posts by others inspire me to feel gratitude for things I hadn't thought about. We'd love to have you join us. Some of our members only post once in a while. Some have never posted and just enjoy what others share. Some of us are dedicated everydayers. (That's a word, right?)

I've been feeling this gratitude all year long. Now it's November again. My thoughts now are, What can I do to rev up the gratitude? I posed the question to my friend. This morning she told me that she plans to write 30 thank you notes this month. What a great idea. I am upping my gratitude posts by at least 3 each day. I'm also writing some thank you notes. The first one came with the sweetest response that definitely filled my heart with gratitude.

What other ideas do you have that can help us increase our gratitude and unlock the magic within us? Post them below. Feel free to share the magic!

August 15, 2013

Patterns

Oh my gosh. I've been stuck!

I thought for sure that if I were to file for divorce and get that area of my life moving that other areas would move too. Have you ever thought, "If I do this, then that will happen?" Of course, we all have. What happened when you were wrong?

I was wrong. Oh sure I've been moving on in some ways.
What I didn't count on is my habit to get stuck, freeze and eventually start moving backwards if I don't make conscious effort to move forward. This is my pattern.

I didn't count on feeling no desire to write. I know that sounds crazy to those of you that love to read what I have to say. I didn't count on finding a big why not for making my own business. One that I am stuck on. I didn't plan on my whole life turning upside down. I didn't expect to be moving. I didn't plan on putting my kids back in school. I didn't plan on a lot of things happening. My initial response to anything going unexpected is to freeze! I know now that this is my pattern.

We all have patterns. Do you know yours? If we know our patterns we can change them. We can learn from them. When they show up we can change how we respond, we can change our feelings about them, etc.

I was reminded today that there are 4 areas that people lean towards using for change. I'm guessing that it will be easiest to notice your patterns in the same areas that you find it easiest to apply change.

Some people love to work with the mind. Change your thoughts and change your experience. These are the people that love to tell you to use affirmations. I call them Mental People. No they aren't crazy they just approach life initially from a mental and logical approach.

Some people love to work with the emotions. Change your emotions, deal with your emotions, express your emotions and every thing else will change. These are the people I refer to as Heart People.

Some people love to work with actions. They see that if they change their actions then every thing else will change too. These are the Body People.

Some people love to work with energy and things unseen. They see that there could be energetic causes under everything, but more than that they see that people can come into this experience with those. These are the Spirit People.

If you've noticed my site is Heart-n-Spirit, that's because these are my favorite areas to work with. In fact the whole action thing is so hard for me to grasp. I change things energetically and emotionally and the actions just naturally change in response.

I believe that we can all use each of these areas, even I can change my actions. I believe we lean towards one or two as a general rule. The most powerful changes occur when all four areas are used. If you can only bring yourself to change one, that's ok. A change in any area will effect the rest and the results in your life will be different.

Good luck with seeing your own patterns and more importantly changing them. Lots of love to you!

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July 29, 2013

Ropes Part 4- My Moment

Have you ever been in a moment that you just knew you were in that moment? Nothing else mattered? What did you feel? What did you think about? Did you think about the past? Did you think about the future? Did you care what people thought of you?

One of the challenges we had on Ropes course was climbing the pole pictured  here. I consider this my moment because I was completely in my moment. I wasn't thinking about where I was going, what I would do when I got there, or anything but the very moment I was in.

I thought, "Next hook." "Up." The whole time. I barely heard the people around me. I am pretty sure they were cheering me on. :) I was completely focused until I got to the top and the sun came through the trees. Then my thoughts changed to "They need one more hook!" "Dang sun, no distractions." "How am I supposed to keep going when I can't see?"

Oops! I was distracted! I got a little scared up there and almost got stuck.

Here's what I have learned to do when I get stuck. I say, "How can I?" It's amazing what happens when a person asks themselves such questions and then actually chooses to listen to and follow the answer. In this case the answer was simply, "Just do it."

I loved climbing up the pole. I had many friends that struggled. I found it easy to do. I had struggles on other challenges that they found easy, or at least they didn't let on were a challenge. The only reason this was easy for me was my complete focus in the moment. At the top I changed focus.

At the top I was aware of how out of breath I was. I was aware of how shaky legs were from the exercise they weren't used to. I became aware of how high I was. I didn't feel like I would have the time I wanted to regain my breath and legs before I had to jump off. I didn't even feel like I could communicate with those below because I couldn't speak through my ragged breathing.

Up at the top all the mind chatter starts in. Doubts about myself. Fears about the height. Fears about what others would think if I waited, didn't wait, if I sat down, or whatever.

How many times are we in a moment and then become aware that people are watching us? I notice this all the time. I talk to myself while I drive. I sing and dance with the car radio and then I realize that other drivers are looking at me. I end up stopping. I end up hiding.

It's like me at the top of the pole. Going up I was so in the moment. It was easy. It was fun. Then I got to the top and let myself get out of the moment. All of the sudden I wanted to stop and hide.

Of course I jumped off the pole. I had to get down somehow. :) It was fun and I felt almost like I was flying.

I know people that live in the moment. They are some of the most powerful and inspiring people that I know. They are asking themselves what they want and then they are doing it. The let go of judgment and just are.

What would happen if we all lived this way? What would happen if when I notice someone looking at me while I dance and sing in my car, instead of stopping, I just chose to wave and smile?

Here's what I think would happen. Magic. We'd inspire others to live in the moment. We'd show others that it is ok to be in the moment too.

I recently was at a parade. It was just me and my 20 year old son. No little kids were with me. I was waving, screaming and flirting just like I would have 23 years ago. I was having a blast. The best part was that those in the parade always waved back, smiled and flirted back. It didn't matter that I was a 40 year old versus a child. It mattered that I was totally enjoying the moment which inspired them to enjoy that moment too.

To read more about my ropes experiences you can read Ropes Part 1-My Choice, Ropes Part 2-I Choose No, and Ropes Part 3-War Wounds.

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July 18, 2013

Ropes Part 3- War Wounds

What happens when we don't choose into what we are doing in our lives? What happens when we let others make decisions for us? My answer is War Wounds.

This is part 3 of a series highlighting the lessons I learned on a Ropes Course. You can read Ropes 1- My ChoiceRopes 2- I Choose No and any other posts I've written on the progress of my goal.

If you have read my other posts you would know that on my ropes day I committed to choosing in for each activity. We had a huge activity in which we, as a group, found a way over a wall. I did choose into the activity, but...

In this activity we had a leader. He would choose who to have go over in which order. I ended up being second. I did my power pose that indicated that I chose in. Here's the deal. I wasn't ready for my turn. I was going through the motions.

I really wasn't ready. I didn't check in with myself to see if I was ready. I didn't let anyone else know that I wasn't ready. I didn't want to let them down. I didn't take care of me first. I "took care of" the group by going when I was told versus when I was ready.

Then I got stuck. I was inches from being over and I was stuck. I had dear friends holding onto me so I wouldn't fall. It hurt. I couldn't go back down, because that could hurt me more, as well as hurt a whole group of people below. I didn't know how to go up.

The bruises in the picture are a result of my being stuck. Oh my goodness that hurt. I was in so much pain. Being stuck just kept making it worse.

So how did I get over the wall and out of increasing pain? I didn't. I'm typing from that position, believe me it's hard to type and hold on for dear life.

Obviously I'm kidding! I did get over that wall. When the pain was bad enough, I decided to commit into going over that wall. It was hard to celebrate the success because the pain of those bruises as they healed was so great.

How often in our lives are we stuck at the top? A small step or a little effort and over we go. How painful do we let it get before we finally commit? How much healing is required after we got over, instead of celebrating our success?

Pain can be a great motivator. Pain can really get us to commit. Wouldn't it be more fun and fulfilling if we moved into a way of being that had us committing and being motivated by desire? This is where I am headed! It's a fun place to be. Less pain, more celebrating, it's awesome!


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July 13, 2013

Success

This picture reminds me of some of the amazing beliefs I have taken on in the last few months. I have loved my journey. I love even more who I have become.

When I look in the mirror, I am still amazed at how beautiful I look. Did I change anything on the outside? No! I simply chose to see myself differently.

It took courage to follow through with my commitment to file for divorce. We've recently gone to the classes that Utah requires as a part of the divorce process for parents. I learned there that I've already moved through the stages of grief arround the end of my marriage. I guess 3 1/2 years of separation can do that for me. I always saw myself as stuck. Maybe I wasn't stuck so much as just healing.

It took dedication to go through all of my boxes. There were some that I'd open and think, "There can't be anything of his in here," yet there often was an item or two. It took choosing to be friends in order to have a day of peace when sorting dishes together. I was able to stand up for some of my wants and I surprised him with some of the things I was willing to let him have. That takes a real love of self.

I had a way to measure my goal. I would know I loved me when...
I could go places like the mall and not compare myself to the other girls. I remember a couple of months ago, as a part of the reason for choosing this goal, that I saw a tall, thin, young, blond girl. I had thought, "That is what guys want." I love how as I have learned to love me I am seeing all men and women in a completely different light. I see beauty in all shapes and sizes! I know that as my desires are not the same as my friends, so too do men's desires vary.
I can be ok as I see happy couples. I now think, "Oh, isn't that sweet." There are no more lines going through my head saying things like, "That's not fair. I want that. I'll never have that." In fact I believe I can have that. I believe that I am ok if it never happens. I'm content with who I am, knowing that I am a whole person in a perfect place for me.
I am walking around and going places seeing men as men; as human beings. This means I am not seeing a man, thinking "he's cute" and then searching for a ring or other indications that he's taken. I find myself noticing that there are men that draw me to connect with them. I am not putting a label on that connection of "he's the one". I love that I can be friends, real friends, with men.
I've had some bonuses from this goal. My relationships with my children have become stronger. I find myself being more patient with them. I am taking time to really connect with my children. I am willing to let others assist in their care if that is what is best for them. Before I resented any input or help even when I allowed it to happen. I can let go and share.

I desire doing things for my body and health that I didn't desire before. My posture and the way I speak with people has improved. I have made so many friends in the last few months. In my class and outside of my class. They are true friendships, like those I have always wanted to have.

Now that I am in love with me, I am ready to take on the next project. I achieved this goal 4 weeks early! I will finish my series on the lessons I have learned from Ropes. :) I love sharing what I learn. What's the next goal? I am creating a successful business!

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July 04, 2013

Ropes Part 2- I Choose No

It's been a whole week since ropes. :) I remember it like it just happened! As I shared in Ropes Part 1- My Choice, I took on consciously choosing throughout the day.

As we approached an activity that is often found on ropes courses, a trust fall, I had the impression that this was my activity to say, "No."

I, like a lot of people, am the kind of person that doesn't like to say no. I don't want to cause waves or hurt feelings. Instead I'll say yes, and then feel burdened because it isn't right for me.

The trust fall is something I've done before. Outlook, however, has their own twist on the activity. Choosing no would mean that I wouldn't participate in the changed part. It was so extraordinarily hard to follow through on what my inner-self said to do.

Trust. It takes trust to follow my inner-self. It takes trust that people aren't going to get upset. It takes trust to believe that they will respect my choice and not try to change my mind. For me, it took more trust to say no then it would have to have taken that fall.

Later the facilitator asked me, "Did you cause waves when you said no?" At first, I answered no. Then I realized something. Yes, I did cause waves. They weren't the kind that rock the boat. They were the kind that empower others to step into their own agency and ability to say no.

This was my most emotional event of the day. I learned so much throughout the whole day. This is one of the most powerful lessons that I can take with me. Take time to listen to your intuition. If it's right to say no, then do it. Not only are you honoring your self, you are also empowering others!


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June 29, 2013

Ropes Part 1- My Choice

It's MY choice! Yes!
I had the most amazing time at Ropes with my goal attainment class. I am dividing my experience into a few posts.

We were encouraged to bring with us our biggest limiting belief. I did my work and took with me the following, "I have no agency." I have been a grand promoter my whole life of the concept there is always a choice. Isn't it ironic that many of our deepest beliefs are exactly opposite of our greatest causes?

My dear friend and facilitator taught me that it's really a victim mentality. "If I don't choose this and I just do it then it's their fault. After all I was just along for the ride." How much more powerful is it to actually choose into things, or out of them? I get to be accountable. The reality is we are accountable for our actions, including not fully choosing, whether we want to be or not, so why not choose in?

I took back my power! I got to create a power pose. As I stomp my foot and swing my arm into position I say, "Yes!" I can also say, "No!" Taking a conscious effort to choose each activity was so empowering! If you see me on the street doing this you'll know I'm making a conscious choice. :)

Some activities required us to wear harnesses. As soon as I declared yes I immediately was next in the harness. Isn't that how our lives would flow the best? Choose in and then go for it!

In future posts I will share what happened when I chose no, what happened when I didn't choose 100% and maybe even what happened when I waited to choose. :)

With love and light!
Michele

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June 25, 2013

Progress!

Last Wednesday I made one of the biggest steps of my life! I have been separated from my husband for over 3 years. I have known that it would be best for us to move on from each other. I just couldn't find the courage within me to file for divorce. I finally did it!

A few weeks ago I looked at my beliefs around courts and paperwork. I found a lot of beliefs came from when my parents divorced back when I was 12. For 28 years these beliefs have ruled my life! With them gone, I found the paperwork fairly easy and, although I took J with me, I realized that I was totally ok filing by myself. Him being there just saved a step because he could sign the acceptance form and admit he's been served. :)

Now there is a 90 day waiting period, required by Utah law, with a few to do's in the meantime. We then can file the final paper work in the middle of September and have word back by the beginning of October. Oh boy that means that I could easily be dating for my birthday in December! A little nervous. :)

This was the first major part of my goal. The next major part is getting J's stuff out of my place and into his! I am so excited for the Feng Shui aspects of this. I've already found some of my "missing" things and I have quite the collection of things to take to him. The very corner of the top picture is a bunch of dishes that have been in those boxes for 5 years. That would be a side effect of living with parents. I have probably already gone through half of the boxes! I've trashed, shredded and repacked. I'm loving knowing what is where and really moving forward!

As I've been going I have been working on beliefs. I'm really excited about the most recent belief. I found it under about 3 different threads of thinking. The belief was, "I am a mistake." Wow! Did I really have that running? Yes, I did. I cognitively knew that there are no mistakes or accidents. This would include me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to change this. Now I'm totally feeling that I am planned perfection! What a huge step towards loving me!

I'm also loving the side benefits of this loving me stuff. I find myself desiring to take better care of myself. I'm finding my intuition has increased! I'm happier!

Up next? I get to be on a ropes course this week! I am so excited!

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June 18, 2013

Beautiful To You

In our class we have a focus each week that we can use to improve our lives as well as move forward in our goal. This week it has been about creating peaceful relationships. We were asked to focus on 3 relationships and even told what one of those would be. That one? The relationship with me.

It's totally perfect for moving me forward in my goal. How can I love myself, if I am at war with myself? Only here was the challenge as well. How do you set clear boundaries with yourself? How do you shift yourself out of that limiting self-talk? This has been my dilemma for a few days, or we could say years.

Today, I was talking to a friend about it. She shared with me a suggestion that had been given to her when she was going through the same kind of thing. She picked a song that would take her to a happy place. She had it on her phone so she could play it whenever she found herself in that battle.

I was worried. How could I choose a happy song when I know that in the past happy songs just made things worse? I had a song come to mind. It's not a "happy song" so I was discounting it at first. The song is in my play list, which doubles as my alarm. It was no coincidence that just moments after my conversation with my friend my alarm went off. Guess which song was first up for today.

I came to a clear awareness today. Some people will benefit from "happy" songs, pictures, memories, etc. Some people like myself do best with songs that can get through to the love-peace core of who I am. Often it's the spiritual songs that can get me out of my funk. If you are looking for a solution to a similar problem, what kind of song or reminder would work for you?

I have included a video of the song that I love so much. I had never sung it with myself in mind before. I would love for you to listen and while you do, imagine that you are singing to yourself. It may bring some stuff up, who knows. For me it was healing. It send shivers through my whole body and I of course cried.

Please note. I don't really know what Reece's Rainbow is. I get that they assist beautiful Down Syndrome babies into loving families. This video is about that, before's and afters. If it's distracting then please close your eyes and just immerse yourself in the song that speaks to my soul.


June 15, 2013

State Change

In science a state change is when something, like ice, goes from solid, to liquid, to gas or back again. I personally am not likely to change into a liquid or gas, although some hot summer days I do begin to wonder. State change for me is a matter of changing my stance, attitude or environment so that I can get what I want.

This week started out awful. I was not a nice person to be around. I was doing my usual things. I was releasing energy, I was feeling my feelings, I was going for a walk, etc. Nothing was changing. I didn't like being how I was and yet I couldn't figure out what to do in order to change my state. A few things worked for a bit but then whatever was going on would come right back.

I had an appointment for lunch with a friend. She turned out to be on a juice fast and I didn't have a car. It would have been so easy to just forget it. Lucky for me I stuck with it. She came over and we went to my neighborhood park. For her it was a break she wouldn't have taken. As an entrepreneur she would have just gone home to work. For me it turned out to be magic.

The definition of insanity, as you've probably heard, is doing the same thing and expecting different results. In my walks I either was bringing my junk thinking with me or bringing one of the family with me. Going to that same park with my friend was doing something different. It gave me a chance to focus on other things and seriously allow the break to take affect.

Not everyone would benefit from a break with a friend. You'll know. If that friend is someone that you share all your problems with, will there really be a state change? Some people need to take breaks from people in general.

Sometimes a state change really is as easy as saying things like, "I am peaceful." Sometimes it is as easy as changing how you are standing. If you want to feel confident, stand that way and it will change your state.

Are You Sure?

When you set a time period intention and you are completely committed to that, you have invited into your experience all the obstacles that you get to overcome in order to be there.

It's like the inner me is saying, "Oh you want to love yourself and you have a goal deadline of August 8th? Perfect, well here is this because until you discover this limiting belief you'll not get there." So I deal with it. For me a recent one was realizing that I had a limiting belief of "I'm not lovable." It was huge to clear this up! By the way, I am very lovable!

So I had just conquered Mount I'm-not-lovable. Woohoo, I was feeling great! I had the huge aha moments on Thursday. That evening was awesome. The next day was super! Friday night before bed....

I hit another moment that would best be described as, "Are you sure?" I was looking at the almost entirely printed stack of divorce papers. I ran out of ink, or it would have been a complete stack. Out of nowhere I started to cry. I was so frustrated with myself for hitting another obstacle, I wanted more time in peace.

I had the thought to look back through my Power 90 Journal. I saw things I wrote about my buddy asking me about if divorce was really the right solution. I thought about all the other people who were literally asking me, "Are you sure?" I was so frustrated at the time. Now I am grateful. Each time someone asked I was able to more fully solidify my resolve. "Yes, this is right for me. My husband agrees. The children will be better off in the long run."

My obstacle wouldn't let me fully see what it was. It was showing up as failure and yet I knew that wasn't the real answer. I moved a lot of that energy anyway. It was like the failure concept was a wall around the truth. The truth is I doubt myself. It's a part of why my external world was literally asking me, "Are you sure?"

Woohoo, now that I have that awareness, that came while writing this, I can move that energy! I will then be able to trust that, "Are you sure?" could still show up but the meaning will be a question asking me how committed I am instead of a result of my self doubt.


June 08, 2013

Being Me

We've had 4 goal classes so far. This last week we met our Gurus. Let me tell you, mine is awesome! She's pretty, smart, sexy, wise, capable, authentic, inspiring, etc.

One of the things my guru suggested was finding the belief under my thoughts about romance.

See I'm a born romantic. Sometimes, this is really hard! I seriously was saying, "Romance hurts!" I've never really had it in my life so it hurt to be a romantic. Watching romantic movies didn't fulfill my needs, they just made me more aware of what I was missing.

What was under the concept of romance hurting? This belief, "Being me hurts." Woah, did I just say that? Here I am striving for authenticity. Wanting to be me in all places and at all times and I believe that being me hurts? No wonder it has been so hard!

This is a bandaid I found to
wear as a reminder of how
healing I am.
I love my new belief! Being me is healing. I love how encompassing that is. I heal myself by being me. I offer healing to others by being me. Even saying it or thinking it just shifts me right back into my peace-love me space!

As for the rest of my goal?

Well, I realized filing for divorce has become a way of locking in one of my why's. I'm taking steps each weekday to move that forward.

I've found cool ways to get my room to a place where working on decluttering is easier. My desire to clear out my ex's stuff is stronger. I'm looking forward to the Feng Shui results of that. :)

I'm finding my mind is open to more tools for loving each aspect of me. I love being short! I love my hair and eyes. I have super cute freckles! I'm working my way around my body parts. By then end I will know I am one sexy lady!

My love of my natural inhibitedness and the way I jump from subject to subject has locked in. I see how truly beneficial they are to my life purpose!

Deciding that being me is healing has just increased the ability to achieve this goal by innumerable times. I am so excited!

Eternal Mirrors and Now

One of the most beautiful physical aspects of an LDS temple is the use of mirrors. During marriages couples are often encouraged to look into one mirror while another is on the wall behind them. The reflections continue on with no end which is a perfect example of eternity.

Recently, I was gazing into mirrors that sit opposite each other. I became very aware of now. The original image is in perfect proportion. Each reflection gets smaller and somewhat disproportionate. Eventually you can't even see what the original really looks like.

It became clear to me, just like the mirrors, that the only really clear moment we have is now. The past gets smaller and harder to remember. The future is rarely ever seen and even when it is foreseen it can change. Now is perfect. It is always where we are. Wherever you are now is the perfect place for you. There are no accidents. It's time to love and embrace each moment, your now.

May 25, 2013

Goal Changes

As I reported last time, week 1 of my goal was fantastic. I was feeling good and really anxious for class. By the end of the second week we are supposed to be in a place to soar into action.

Week two was a struggle. Getting a way to measure my success was hard. Life decided to throw me some stuff. I had said, "This is what I want to work on." The universe said, "Ok, here you go," and threw me a whole bunch at once!

I thought I was doing great. Somehow filing for a divorce had turned into "being my authentic self". Then yesterday I was out and about. I saw a tall, thin blond and immediately went into, "That is what guys want." That is when I remembered what I had wanted for my goal. It wasn't to be authentic. It was to know that I am lovable, desirable, to actually believe I can be someone's ideal.

Woops! I realized that I had managed to get myself side tracked. Somehow I had gone from desiring this true love of myself to wanting to be me. It is different enough to make a difference.

So, I have changed my goal. Now my goal affirmation is: I am feeling peace, love, and joy now that I am in love with and cherish me. That is right folks, I get to fall in love with me over the next few weeks! :) As a side benefit I will likely start being more authentic as the weeks progress! ;)

I am filing for divorce as a way to honor my heart. I am giving my husband his stuff, including sorting through the dishes and Christmas, as a way of giving my mind and spirit some peace. I am falling in love with each part of me, one day at a time!

I'm super excited and I will be happy to report back to you as time continues!

May 17, 2013

My Goal

I am taking a goal class. This is a pretty cool class. We get to learn awesome tools, ideal for assisting us in attaining our desired results. The first two weeks are about planning. Getting clear on what I want, when I want it, why I want it, some steps and of course setting up support. I've been to 2 classes now.

My goal is basically about clearing out room for a new romagic relationship. (That's romance+magic!) I have found that a part of my goal is to consciously choose to live from my authentic self, for a significant period of time. This will mean clearing out false beliefs and remembering the real me. Since it is so closely related to the theme of my site I thought it would be fun to post a little each week about how I'm doing with my goal.

The first week, I was rocking. I was figuring out my goal. Figuring out my whys and finding more whys. It was awesome. I was so enthusiastic. I only had one moment that I was actually considering cutting it back to a smaller goal. I knew that this was typical of my sabotaging methods so I stuck with it.

The second class was going awesome. Someone called out a comment on something I had said. It threw me for a loop. "What you see that as that behavior?" went through my head. Then later I was stuck. See my original goal wasn't measurable. It was fantastic but without measure-ability how do you know when you've hit it? I wasn't even bothered by this. I knew it would come. Then another person mentioned some traits they saw me showing up with.

I broke down. I was feeling like no one ever sees the real me. This is a common theme in my life. It doesn't even matter if there is any truth to what people see. This is my belief, my perception. How can I create my ideal relationship when I am not even really showing up as me? The good news is this break down lead me to clarity on my goal. YAY!

The next step was to then find a belief to change. I did. My new belief is, "The real me is likable." To assist me in remembering, I decided to draw a picture of me and label it with many of the traits I see in me. I've included it here! Not bad for many years of not sketching, eh? Look at all those traits. How can the real me not be likable if all those things are me?

Anyway, I'm only a day into this second week. I'm up against some interesting challenges. One being asking for help! :) I say, "Bring it on!"

Being Me

A path of arrows going the same way.
For those of you familiar with me you will notice a color change on my site. A while back I had a friend that made my newer logo. I love my logo. To me it represents a metamorphosis of both the heart and the spirit. These two traits are very me.

At the time that I received my new logo, I was spending a lot of time on another person's site. I liked her color choices and I had connected them with the ideas of my site. Therefor I used a similar color.

The other night I was reading a book about branding. I asked myself, "Do people see me when they come to my site?" The answer was no. I'm a soft and nurturing kind of woman. I'm romantic and loving as a natural way of being. I changed my site colors to look more like what I think would be me. I'm happy with them and other's have expressed that it looks more like me as well.

The reality is that this was just a mirror of the kind of things I've done my whole life. Many of us do this. We hang out with certain people and may make choices that aren't really what we want. Maybe we wear certain kinds of clothes just because it's the in thing to do. We may even choose jobs based on what others expect. I know I went to college where I did because I didn't think people would support me in going to school for drama. I believed that they would say that I had to get a "real" job.

It's really important, for our joy factor, for us to choose to live in our own identity. I'm not ready to really dress like me. I have some beliefs to work on. I can choose, however, to find ways to bring my identity into my dress in subtle ways. The more I do this, I find the better I feel in my outfits. Each step brings me closer to expressing the real me. One day, I'll totally dress like me. As I choose careers that are true to me and let myself home school and mommy time the way that works for me, I find happiness and more cooperation in my children.

Become the yellow arrow going it's own way.
My advice? If you have an area that isn't joyful in your life, ask first, "What am I doing that is not being true to me?" You might be surprised at the answers.

A note about the pictures. These white arrows are painted on the entire path at the park in my neighborhood. Even the yellow one was painted there. I found it very fitting that we were walking against the arrows, talking about making our own path and then we came across the yellow arrow. Becoming our true identity is making our own path.

May 03, 2013

Two Opposing Beliefs

What happens when you have two opposing beliefs?

Recently I realized the answer. I have believed in my ability to inspire people for a long time. I have had so many people tell me that I inspired them. This made it an easier belief to believe.

My passion is to inspire. They say once you live in passion you'll achieve your dreams right? Why then if I believe I am inspiring and this is my passion have I been struggling?

Imagine that you are being pulled in two different directions. One of the pulling forces represents a positive moving forward belief, like I am inspiring. Now the other pulling force is a limiting belief, like I am unwanted. They will both tug on you with all their strength.

Now let's say the limiting belief is stronger. It keeps pulling and eventually you begin to move backwards toward that negative side of life. You would not even try to inspire because the belief that you are unwanted is stronger then the belief that you inspire.

Now let's say the limiting belief is equal to your positive belief. You may occasionally actually say something inspiring. Maybe even write fantastic, inspiring things. You are not likely to get very many readers, because you still believe you are unwanted. Basically you won't go anywhere, you'll be stuck.

Now let's say your positive belief is stronger then the limiting belief. This time you will move forward. You'll share your inspiration. You'll even reach a few people. You'll start to feel great. Sadly, you will still move slow at best.

Now what happens when you eliminate the negative limiting belief? That's right, you'll zoom into action. You'll not only believe that you are inspiring you'll believe that you are wanted! Watch out world here she comes!

Artwork provided by my truly awesome son Andrew.

April 25, 2013

Celebrate Success

I have been working for a long time on the potty training concept for my now 3 1/2 year old son. We have tried so much. Spending the day training the bear while drinking lots of juice and water. We'd sit my son on the toilet every 5 minutes. Inevitably, we learned that he knew how to hold it! He'd only pee after he got up. We  even tried giving him choices between the big toilet or a child's toilet, upstairs or downstairs. We tried to explain what we wanted and how. We of course talked to him about being big like the rest of us, including the other kids in the family.

I have been getting frustrated. Besides the financial ramifications of buying diapers, and the "what will the neighbors think?", I found for me the real desire was for him. How much easier for him to be able to go in and take care of business for himself. He'll get a sense of accomplishment. He'd get to be more independent, something he loves. With this in mind, I started asking, "How can I train him?" and "What's another way?" This opened me up for some inspiration about how to do things a little different.

Today, I told him that he could play outside after he went in the toilet. He did go in the toilet, and on the toilet and on the floor. Did I get mad about the mess? NO!!! I celebrated his great job! He didn't do it perfectly. It was the first time. That was one less smelly diaper to change and we all felt great! Later he also had a pee success! After all this time we finally are celebrating!

Now, why am I really telling you this? I became very aware of how we treat ourselves. How often do we actually celebrate our attempts? What if we make mistakes? Do we celebrate? Most often as adults we find ourselves beating ourselves up for the parts where we missed.

What would happen if I yelled at my 3 year old for the part of his attempt that missed the toilet? How likely would he get trained any time soon? So why then do we yell at ourselves when we make mistakes? Have you celebrated the part that worked? How about just celebrate the attempt!

I think it is time to PARTY! Celebrate! Is it a struggle to get up each day? Celebrate, even if it was only to go to the bathroom. How much likely are you to do more when you celebrate you?

Celebrate your success! Celebrate the parts that worked! Celebrate the attempt!

If you loved this be sure to share, tweet, recommend and comment! Thanks!

April 19, 2013

Asking, Direct or Implied

Lately, I've been very aware of how people ask for things. Many of the people in my world imply what they want. Others directly say exactly what they want. This is actually another aspect of our dual natures.

Here is a scenario to explain these concepts. Let's pretend there is a cup of juice sitting on the edge of the table. As an observer you recognize that it is about to be knocked off by someone's elbow. How do you let that person know and hopefully prevent a mess?

If you are a direct you might say something like, "Hey, move that cup!" If you are an implier you may say, "That cup is about to fall." Neither way is wrong. They are simply just different subconscious responses. It's not something we usually think about.

A person who says, "I sure could use some help around here," is implying what they want. There is a subconscious expectation that the other people will fill in the blanks and infer what they want. A person who says, "Michele, take out that garbage," is directly saying what they want done.They see what they assume is the best result and then ask for that result.

There are varying degrees of how this shows up. Tacking please onto the beginning or end of a direct sentence doesn't change the directness of it. Getting closer to the center would be like saying, "Will you move that cup?" You still state specifically what you want but you've put it in a question. At the same token when I hear someone say, "Michele, I could use some help," I know that they want me to help, but they've still implied as to what exactly they want from me.

I am an implier. I noticed that the other day that I said, "I was wondering about the $39 offer." What I meant is that I would like to take that offer so could you please send me the information. I have realized that there are times and situations in which I need to be more direct. For instance with my children. I will specifically name my child and ask them to help with a specific task. I do this because when I don't they ignore me thinking the others will do it, or pretend they don't know what I want. When I'm being conscious of what I am doing I can directly say what I want. This can save me some stress, even though this is not my comfortable way of doing it.

Knowing this information can save a lot of heart ache. Knowing this can give you insight into your own natural style as well as those around you. Then you can be more understanding when they are showing up in a way that you don't agree with. You can be more vocal about what you really want, and therefore not get let down when they don't do what you ask. You can let go of the outcome a little and allow others to infer your desires.

Remember, you can only change you. You can change your reaction to them. If you have an implier saying they want help, and you know they likely mean for you to do it, you can do it or ask them more questions to get it figured out. Consider asking the direct asker to give you a little space to figure things out. Communication is key here.

When dealing with others, especially important relations like with my children. I watch and observe not only how they ask but more important which ways they respond to. Some of my children respond better when a suggestion is left and they can use their own authority to choose. Others prefer to know exactly what is expected of them. This often is the opposite of their asking style. I don't like being told what to do and yet I prefer to know exactly what is expected of me.

If you want to really know how direct or implying you are, think about about how you ask a customer representative about something. Do you soften your words by saying, "Would you please help me with..." or do you just say, "Hey, I need help with..."

Thanks for learning with me! I would love for you to share, tweet, +1, etc.


April 12, 2013

Trigger Free Living

Imagine what it is like for a mother to have her 3 year old child fall from a tall stool at McDonald's. He has one of those cries, or rather lack of crying, that causes her to say, "Breath." In fact this time it takes quite a while before he does breath and start into the next stage of crying. What would she feel? Panic!

Today, my son fell. He is the youngest of six. Yes, I panicked the most when it was my oldest that would get hurt. I may have acted more calm with the rest as the years have gone but that didn't change that feeling of panic inside. Just a year ago, I remember feeling panicked when my kids would fall, or even be really ill. This state of panic creates a disconnect between my intuition and my conscious thoughts.

I have done a lot of healing work over the years. The last few months have been some of the best. The healing I've done has been deep and permanent. A few months ago I did some clearing on the panic and inability to listen to intuition as I needed to work with my children.

Today, as my son cried in my arms I didn't feel panic. I felt concern for him and compassion for his fear but not panic. This was so new to me and such a blessing. It allowed me to realize that the reason he was acting a little out of it after the fall was because he was out of it. In other words his spirit had left his body for a bit. Not to the point of death but it did leave temporarily. It's a coping mechanism. The reason we need soul retrievals is this coping mechanism of removing ourselves temporarily from the body, however, sometimes that part doesn't return to the body.

I told my son to come back to his body and that I understood it was scary but he'd be ok. As I sat wondering how to help him further the thought came to buy him a candy bar. We were in a McDonald's that is attached to a gas station. How convenient? I guess that's why it's called a "convenient" store. :) One of the great things about chocolate is it's grounding properties. It helped that the guy chatted with my son and got him to smile before we left. We sat in the car while he ate his candy bar. I wanted to give him time to make sure it wasn't more serious, like a concussion, and to give time for the chocolate to take affect.

Now, as I write, he is outside playing as usual. He's fine. I get that his soul is intact with nothing left behind. What a relief. Through it all I was able to stay calm and connected. What a blessing to have the panic trigger gone!

Chocolate for GroundingMy wish to you is a trigger free life. Are all of mine gone? Heaven's no. :) I'm working on it and each trigger that is gone brings more peace, love and joy to my life!

From my heart to yours,

Michele

March 29, 2013

Personality vs Nature

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Feeling Authentic. As I read through some of the comments I realized that soon I would be writing this post. I want to clarify the difference between personality and nature.

Personality is ever changing. In reality we create personality. We choose, whether conscious or not, to act certain ways in certain kinds of situations. Some of the things that affect this are birth order, other family dynamics, religious and community cultures, stages of life, etc. Personality can change from one activity to the next. One of my favorite examples to illustrate this is a tough dude and a baby. Take a big, tough dude and hand him a baby. You will see instant change! Will he get flustered and afraid of dropping the baby? Will he go all gaga and coo at the little one? There will be an instant change of some sort, this is personality.

I first became aware of personality when I was a teen or possibly even younger. My mom would say, "I hope you don't treat your friends like this." Is it necessary to say that it was said when I was fighting with my brother? Of course I didn't act that way with my friends. In some ways being at home allowed me to be the real me and yet there were ways that I couldn't be me. I had my "mom is here" personality. Out with my friends actually flipped those and so the ways I couldn't be me at home I could with my friends. At home I could express my anger vocally whereas with friends I'd bury it. In high school I created a personality that allowed me to be a cheerleader. For those that new me in elementary school this would be shocking. I was one shy elementary schooler!

Nature is constant. It shows up in whatever you do and within every personality. It may not be obvious at first but once you understand the thought processes you can see how they do end up subtly, and sometimes obviously, expressing themselves throughout your existence. Nature is also always based in dualities, commonly referred to ask masculine and feminine.

Do you look at a new event, or information, from a more logical analytic perspective or a more emotional intuitive perspective. I always pass things through my feelings and intuition first. When I consciously choose to do so I can also look at things analytically. This is always a secondary approach.

Another aspect of nature is whether you are more focused or more wavering. Focused people will often go from start to finish on a project. They stay focused on the end result. They can often be closed to new information. I'm more of a wavering type. Some waverish types will start a lot of projects but rarely finish one because something new has come into awareness. I tend to go in and out of projects until sometimes they actually get finished. I also am a lot more open to new ideas then many focused people are, without trying to be. For me to be focused on one thing takes great effort.

One of my favorites to understand is inhibited versus disinhibited. This is not the same as being quiet or shy because of being wounded. There is obvious difference to the trained eye. I can take on quite the hostess role. If someone met me for the first time while in that role, they might mistake me for disinhibited. If they watched close they would realize that I rarely interrupt, allowing others to say what they want or need. They would also see that I hold back, until I see safe openings, before I introduce myself to others. When I enter a new situation I will wait until I am comfortable before I interact. Other types of inhibited people could wait for other reasons.

There are other aspects of nature. It is my belief that we'll find it easier to live on purpose as we embrace our true natures. When we understand what is truth about us we can utilize the knowledge to create or dismantle personalities. Consciously being aware that we are using a personality gives us power. I know that certain situations are not in alignment with my true nature. I can choose to do them by preparing for and following up with self care. I can choose to avoid them. I can choose to delegate. I can even choose to find a way to do them while staying true to me. The choice is mine therefor the power is mine.

March 28, 2013

Lavender

Lavender is probably one of the most well known essential oils out there. In many ways it is known as one of the few must haves, even if you don't use any other oils.

It is known as a calming oil. It is used to help many go to sleep at night, it is used by some to calm disruptive children, and even calm the pain of a sunburn. As with all oils not everything works the same with everyone. For me this oil didn't help with sleep.

In fact for me this oil was a problem. I would get horrible headaches whenever I smelled this oil. In fact most flower oils did this for me as well. Then I learned that because of the particular hormone imbalance I experienced I needed to actually avoid phytoestrogens which are found in Lavender.

As I have been healing some of the benefits have been some changes in my makeup. I no longer get headaches from lavender, although I still react to some phytoestrogen. It's a start, right?

There were still times in which we have used Lavender. Like I mentioned above it is great for use with burns. In fact there are some places where the paramedics carry Lavender oil to treat burn victims. Here's another tidbit on burns. Put the oil on the burn immediately but do NOT put the burn in water. Obviously if you don't have any essential oil the side affects of water are worth the cooling that water offers. Water actually contributes to the blistering. If you just use oils the skin has a better chance of sticking back down and healing.

Other ways that Lavender has been used. Putting it on cuts. My baby boy had gotten cut with knife. My mom immediately put Lavender on it and the next day she couldn't even see where he got cut. She also confided that she didn't think to wash the cut first. Good thing Lavender has antiseptic properties.

Some other uses for lavender are for allergies, bee stings, some types of headaches and some kinds of depression. As with all I mention about oils, use Google. I often read what others say, even if they are from different companies. I also follow inspiration about when and where to use the oils.

Happy Oiling! :)

Michele Lewis



March 11, 2013

Giving Your Heart and Soul

On my road to healing, I have more than once been introduced to the concept of Soul Retrieval. Today, as I was working to gather in my soul, and more importantly what is in the way of full retrieval, I had some ideas come to me. As a result is this post.

How often have you said, or heard, someone say, "I put my heart and soul into this relationship." What about projects or businesses? Did you know that while you are doing that a piece of your soul is being left in that project, business or relationship?

It seems to me that we believe this is the way it is supposed to be. I come from a religious background that believes in marriage for Eternity. The idea would then be that you are supposed to give you heart and soul to that companion.

Some events seem to steel our soul. These are truly painful experiences. Our soul isn't really stolen. It may be trapped with a person or place but we still gave a piece away for some reason. As we heal it our soul is free to return to us. Often it will of it's own accord but sometimes there are reasons why we don't allow that to return. When we heal the reason it comes back to us.

We are actually meant to put our love into the relationships, businesses, projects, etc. Love is an ever increasing energy. The more you give the more you receive. When you give your soul, you don't get more soul back!

To illustrate this, let's imagine you are a chair. Someone wants you to be a part of a project or design. Now break off your leg and give it to them. Do more chair legs come back to you because you gave a part of you? Would the chair leg even be of benefit to the person who needed you, the chair?

Our soul is a unique part of us, just like that chair was a unique object. When you put that unique chair with another unique chair you've now created a set. This is what we really want. We want to create companionship with our relationships, businesses, projects, etc. I consider my business it's own entity. I send love and encouragement to my business.

There are cords that attach us to people and things. Even when we've given a piece of our soul away there is also this cord, so we are attached to something and giving ourselves away. Many people believe these cords should be cut. I believe they should be healed. If the cord is ready to be gone, then after the healing it will dissolve. Cords between family and loved ones are important.

Instead of giving your heart and soul away, let's focus love, and healing to relationship and through the cords. We get to stay whole and become a healthy companion to the relationships!


From my heart to yours,

Michele Lewis
Healer of the Heart-n-Spirit



February 27, 2013

Peppermint

Oh, this is my all time favorite essential oil. It's really funny too because I don't like peppermint candy!

This oil, especially when added to a citrus, is super great for lifting the spirit. We've used this oil to help with alertness and motion sickness while driving.

As a mom I could not be without this oil.

Got a fever? Use peppermint on the feet, neck and forehead. Be super careful not to get it in eyes, if you have a young child you may want to avoid the forehead. Also, be sure to dilute for young skin.

Got a stuffy nose? Smell some peppermint and notice what a difference it makes!

Got a sunburn? Love peppermint for this! It has a cooling affect on the burn. It also helps it heal, especially when added with a burn oil, such as lavender or roman chamomile.

Got a tummy ache? Super oil to use for digestive ailments. Rub right on the tummy. A note of warning to expectant mothers, be very careful when using this oil. It can sometimes be used but do your research first!

Believe it or not the oil that is often used for alertness helps my brain settle down to sleep. It's an oil to help with focus. My mind will often run 2,000 miles per an hour. At times like these peppermint gets my brain focused enough to sleep.

A friend had was experiencing a numb yet painful thumb after some surgery on her back. Her arm had gone to sleep and left her with this weird pain since. We put peppermint on it and she felt instant relief for the first time in years.

These are just a few of the MANY uses of peppermint. In my opinion every one should have this oil.

From my heart to yours,

Michele Lewis

February 23, 2013

My Illness

Today, I'm going to be completely honest.

For years, I resented people asking for prayers and support for cancer patients or other serious illness. It wasn't that I didn't feel for them or believe they needed prayers. I would not wish the illnesses on anyone. The problem was, I, too, was suffering from an illness. This illness is common. This illness destroys not only the life of the one who has it but also greatly affects the lives of those who love and care about them. This illness is depression.

It's everywhere and yet it's not one that we ask others to pray for. We don't say, "My mom needs prayers, she's suffering from depression." We don't say, "My neighbor was just diagnosed with depression, will you send her energy?" In fact more often then not we hide the illness. Those who have it will do their best to pretend everything is okay, we're often ashamed to admit that we have it. Our loved ones will apologize for us, maybe saying, "She isn't feeling well today," and in their head they add, "or any day."

Some suffering seek relief in drugs. I've never done so myself. I've had people tell me I should be on drugs. This just added to my feelings of worthless and broken. I see so many people on drugs that never find relief. It's never a cure, although some hormone therapy can be. Who wants to be on a drug for the rest of your life?

Often, we're told "Choose to be happy." In fact the whole reason I'm writing this is because I was just in a meeting that told us we can choose joy. How would a cancer patient feel if we said "choose to be healthy"  or "choose to not have cancer." When a person has chronic depression there is more involved then a choice to be joyful or happy.

Now don't go getting me wrong. I know we create our realities, subconsciously. I know we really do choose the things we are going through, subconsciously. The problem with chronic depression like any illness is there are a lot more choices and things to address then a simple choice to be happy. For a person in this state, just choosing to believe there might just possibly be a way out takes all the energy they have.

Imagine, for a moment, that you are standing at the bottom of the tallest building you can think of. This place. at the bottom, is despair. Really that is often what those in depression feel. Despair is without hope. At the top of the building is where your loved ones are. They are in joy. You might see people who are a floor or two from the top, these are the people that can just "choose" joy and be there. The people at the top are just yelling down to you, "Just choose to be happy and you'll be up here with me." You can barely hear them the climb is so high!

If you are lucky, someone might throw down some tools. Maybe a key to the stairwell or elevator. They might have a ladder. They are telling you, "Don't beat yourself up. You're doing the best you can." They'll tell you, "Choose to get out of bed today and celebrate that awesome achievement." They know that before you can ever choose joy you have to make some other choices first.

When you're really lucky, you'll find some kind of healing method that works. Some work better then others. One worked amazing miracles for so-and-so, who was halfway up the building and now is at the top, so we think they should work just as well for us. We forget that he was already half way up the building. Then we get discouraged when we don't get the same results, or as fast as we think we should get. Finally, you use the method long enough or find a better for you method and start seeing results, although at first they can be quite small.

I, personally, have tried a lot of methods. I've given up, started again, changed courses, etc. The year that my depression went from being all the time to being Seasonal Affective Disorder I was ecstatic. This was progress. I kept going. Now I get a rare day with the depression feelings. I can pinpoint the trigger, whereas before just being alive was possibly the trigger. I can ask myself, "What is happening that caused these feelings?" I get a specific answer and then can proceed to heal it. I love where I am now and I am seeing things get better every day.

After pulling off layers upon layers of hurt, pain, grief, anger, rage, etc. I finally can choose to be happy. Just like any disease it takes finding the right tools for you. Depression can be cured. The best thing to hear is your 20 year old son saying, "You're so chipper lately." (He doesn't even normally use the word chipper!)

In that meeting today, I didn't resent being told to choose joy. I knew that I was now in a place where that choice is possible. I am either at the top of the building or just down a floor now. I did ache for the many who are still finding themselves somewhere on the bottom levels of the building. These are the people I most want to help with my healing tools. I want to share the sunshine, that I have found with them, with them and you.

From my heart to yours,

Michele Lewis
Healer of the Heart

February 19, 2013

Feeling Authentic

As many of you know I have learned much about my nature from Carol Tuttle through Energy Profile and Dressing Your Truth. For those of you not familiar with her programs, the basic natures have some key words. For example, 1s are bright and animated, 2s are soft and subtle and so forth.

For years, I believed I was a type 1. The reality was, I never felt settled with the idea of being a 1. In my features I saw t1, t2, t3 and type unknown. I kept going back and forth with 1 and 3 because I thought I saw more of those in me, then 2. I set the intention to know my type. I wasn't super focused on this intention, really I wrote it in my journal and forgot about it.

I was working on self healing. One day I decided to look at type 2 as a possibility. When this happened I finally found something that settled. I realized all of my "unknown" features were type 2, making 2 my more dominant features. I started understanding what Carol said about my type. Before I had just been trying to manipulate type 1 to fit me. I feel no need to change the type 2. If I don't match exactly I have an understanding of how circumstance and secondary affect where I vary, which is rarely far.

Last December, I started having experiences in which I felt calm and peaceful. This was new to me. It felt like type 2 energy for the first time I could remember. This is when I feel joy. Joy for me is peaceful and calming. There is something so comfortable about this feeling. When I felt that peace I knew what I was doing right for me.

Lately, I have had so much fun with working with people on sessions. I enjoy connecting one on one with people. I also noted that I was feeling upbeat and type 1ish which is not true to my dominant. I felt happy but not joy. I felt little promptings that something was off. I knew that I was coming across more like my secondary and not my dominant nature.

Recently, I had a session that went really fast. To fill the time she did work on me in return. I'm feeling the peace and calm again. Why didn't I find this for myself? I was so focused on other areas I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

I'm not completely sure why I was coming from my second. I think maybe because I was doing things so very out of my element. I was putting myself out there in a big way, which is fine to a point as long as I return to self after. It serves as a reminder. If I'm not feeling calm and peaceful, then I get to discover why I am disconnected from my authentic self.

In order to know when you are not being true to you, you'll need to know your type or motivation. I know that if a type 1 isn't having fun they are disconnected from self. See Carol's information for more on what ways of being is more in line with your true nature. If you aren't feeling it then see what needs to change in order to be authentic. Could be a different approach to your tasks, could be taking the right kinds of breaks, or it could be you need a healing session. Also, make sure that you really are the type you think you are.

Here is another thing to note about when you are not being authentic. When we are trying to be something we are not, whether we are conscious of it or not, it is very draining to us. If you are meant to be upbeat and you're not being so, then you'll find yourself drained of energy. On the contrary when you are being upbeat, and that is not your authentic self, you'll find yourself drained of energy.

From my heart to yours,

Michele Lewis
Healer of the Heart

February 12, 2013

Quit or Heal?

Here I am, I'm going along living my life and clearing my stuff. Some days I wonder, "Is it worth it?" It's easy to remember the answer, "Yes, you're no longer depressed." Then there are the questions, "Will I ever see the end of this? Will I ever be cleared of what's in my way on this subject?" This is a hard one to hold onto faith for.

I've heard that people will generally experience problems in one or two of three general areas of life. I am sure there are more than three. The areas they mention are relationships, money and health. I'm one of the lucky ones that get all three. This leaves me with the question of what do I clear first?

I clear what's the most in my face. For a while it was mostly about finances. I am still expecting big changes, have had small, mostly I just feel better on the subject, more at peace. Recently I have been facing the way my kids ignore me and are often very rude. This isn't a general kids learning to be adults kind of ignoring.

I cleared on a Saturday, enough to where I could calmly get my daughter to help with her chore. I am always looking at: What in me creates this? Can I clear something in her? Etc.

Then comes Sunday. I got so angry with my 20 year old son. His room could be featured on those shows with gross homes. He literally can't walk anywhere in it. The door has been broken because he can't open the door. The 3 year old went in today and I feared for his life and couldn't even get over to him. I've argued and complained and begged for so long. I'm a natural peace maker so this is really hard for me. I pounded on his door and handed him a trash bag. I have never experienced him talking back to me so rudely in my life! I seriously didn't recognize him. He quickly apologized and I know he meant it as I could hear it in his voice.

So why am I telling you this? As I said just the day before I had been clearing on the respect and rudeness issue. It could be so easy to throw my hands in the air and say, "It didn't work!" How many times I've quit because it got worse after doing a clearing.

I now see it is sad to quit when it's so close to being totally gone.

Imagine you have a wound. In order to heal this particular wound you have to pull off the scab to extract the poison. With the scab off it's raw and boy does it hurt! This was me. I pulled off the scab of the rudeness wound. Now it's an open wound. It's raw. It's screening to be healed!

We have two choices in these times. We can quit, give up, say it's not working and stuff it again or we can heal it. We can recognize it wants to be healed. We've uncovered it so let's get it out! Have you had similar wounds opened?

From my heart to yours,

Michele
Healer of the Heart

February 05, 2013

Soul Purpose

I often hear people talk about soul purpose. I also hear people talking about the idea that if you are in alignment with your "soul" then you'll have the success you desire. Before we can know our soul purpose it is important to know what the soul is.

Many people misunderstand what the soul is. They refer to an essence that we come from or our spirit. The soul is actually made up of a physical body and spirit. Some would even say body, mind and spirit. What all is a part of the soul isn't as important as understanding that it takes at least 2 components, one of them being our body. This means that our "soul" purpose is really the purpose of our lifetime here on earth.

We each chose to come here to earth to experience aspects of having a physical body. Some would argue that we don't have a life lesson even though they then say that we came to experience an aspect of God. Isn't that the same thing? Our lesson is to find a way to live the aspect that we wanted to experience. Often this is the exact opposite of what we have experienced throughout our lives. For example maybe we wanted to experience being powerful and yet all through life we find ourselves in very powerless situations. These are the things that when we find them and recognize these aspects of ourselves we often cry. I feel inside that my spirit is saying, "Finally, you see it! You recognize you."

To enable us on our journey we have spiritual gifts, similar to those I mention in "Wisdom, Knowledge and Discernment." When we find tasks that are in alignment with our spiritual gifts we experience the rush that we talk about as being "on purpose." I believe that along with the things we want to experience or learn there are also things that we want to accomplish, such as helping others on their path. This is another area in which we feel that same "on purpose" rush. If we came to teach we can experience that rush as a regular teacher, as a parent, as a tutor, as an author, or in many other ways. Some will appeal to us more than others.

It is important to find those things that give us that rush. "Men are, that they might have joy." (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:25) God didn't send us to earth to be miserable. He wants all of His children to choose joy. Being on purpose brings us joy.

Also, I believe that when people experience "success" from living on purpose they are actually doing both, recognizing who they are and doing what they came here to do. The combination is very powerful.

Another thing to note is that there are many ways to look at purpose. I've mentioned 2 and I know there are others. When you hear about purpose ask yourself what aspect they may be talking about. Some people will say you can only have one soul purpose or that it never changes. Others will say you can have many and they are changing as we change. This makes sense when you see how they define purpose.

My purpose of "leading others to truth" is one of those that never changes. Depending on what I choose to do with my life depends on how that shows up. Once I was tutoring AutoCAD. As I helped others learn the program I was living one temporary aspect of my purpose.

Have you found your purpose?

From my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer of the Heart
at Heart Style

January 29, 2013

Wisdom, Knowledge and Discernment

Recently it was implied that my soul purpose was not in line with "Divine Wisdom." This was hard to accept because it seemed that, if this person was correct, what I am most passionate about would not be in line with my soul's purpose. Since I have a need to understand things, I sought understanding. This post is a result.

Knowledge is obviously knowing things. Some people assume, incorrectly, that this knowledge comes through traditional learning only. They say that knowledge learned by experience is wisdom. This is not true. Knowledge is knowledge no matter how it is learned.

Wisdom is often said to be the application of knowledge. This is an incomplete picture. Wisdom is about knowing what to do in any given situation. The wise may not actually have a full knowledge to support their choice yet they know what to do.

Discernment is the ability to separate truth from lies. It's what allows us to know when something is right for us. It allows me to pull truth from something even when 90% of the info is false. It is also what allows me to look at someone and know what they are feeling even when they pretend something else.

Each gift is needed. One is not more important then the other. These are only 3 of numerous gifts. Everyone has gifts, however, someone could have only one, or two, all three or even none of these three particular gifts. We can all experience moments with a gift we weren't given when it is needed. It all depends on what we need in order to live our lives to the fullest and support the rest of mankind. We also can ask for gifts we don't have.

How these gifts can show up in the world obviously vary as we as people are unique. As a person with the gift of knowledge, I am blessed in the ability to share my knowledge through writing and in other ways. I find as much or more joy in sharing my knowledge then when I gain it. If I had been given the gift of wisdom then coaching might be right for me. I would be able to see what others need to do and guide them using that knowing of what to do in the given situation. With the gift a discerning, I can see what causes conflict, illness, etc. and therefor offer healing.

As you can see each gift has it's place. Each gifts helps to lift and serve others. This knowledge helps me choose ways to live in line with my gifts, as I discover them. Can you recognize one or more of these gifts in you? How can this help you live in better alignment with your soul's purpose?

From my heart to yours,

Michele
Intuitive Healer of the Heart
at Heart Style

January 28, 2013

Lemon

We have used Lemon to create a sense of cleanliness and freshness in our home. Like most citrus oils it is a great antiseptic oil, often used in personal and home cleaning. Our 2 most common uses of Lemon are in cleaning our homes and detoxing our bodies.

Some of the great uses of Lemon for health are to help clear body of toxins, it's especially good in water to help cleanse the liver and kidneys, use for acne, helps with some skin conditions, anxiety and insomnia. This is not an all inclusive list.

It may surprise you to hear that Lemon Oil is actually an alkaline instead of an acid like lemon juice. For this reason it helps make our drinking water alkaline. Since acidic body environments help create illness drinking alkaline water actually helps get our bodies in a state that gets sick less.

dōTerra®  essential oils are pure enough to be used internally as well as the typical aroma and topical methods.

A note of warning. Lemon has a reaction to the sun so when applied topically one must be careful of sun exposure for 12-24 hours.

From my heart to yours,

Michele


January 22, 2013

Wild Orange


We have used Wild Orange to diffuse anger and increase the happiness and a feeling of well being in our home. It is used both as a stimulant and for calming. Like most citrus oils it is a great antiseptic oil, often used in personal and home cleaning. This is a great oil to try if you have been suffering from depression.

Some of the great uses of Wild Orange for health are to help clear body and environmental toxins, for tummy ailments, and it helps with cold and flu season. This is not an all inclusive list.

dōTerra®  essential oils are pure enough to be used internally as well as the typical aroma and topical methods.

From my heart to yours,

Michele


Frankincense

There is something almost magical about Frankincense. Frankincense has a very high vibration. Thanks to the Law of Resonance our vibrations will increase to meet Frankincense's vibration. How cool is that?

In our house we've used Frankincense to calm children, increase spirituality, create greater feelings of love, ward off evil and many more uses. It is a really great oil to use when we are wanting to connect to our higher selves, to the universe and to God.

Some of the great uses of Frankincense for health are for stress reduction, focus, mood, scar tissue, pain and swelling, removing warts, disinfectant, immune system booster, bug bites, and cancer. This is not an all inclusive list. The video below is from a webinar with Dr. Hill about how great Frankincense is.

dōTerra® essential oils are pure enough to be used internally as well as the typical aroma and topical methods.



From my heart to yours,

Michele

January 20, 2013

It Just Doesn't Fit

Do you remember back in elementary school? I had some dresses I just loved to wear. Did you have something you loved to wear? Do you still wear it? No? Why not?

Did you have something you loved doing, once upon a time? One of mine was being a high school cheer leader. Oh sure I can cheer and encourage people but I can't put on that uniform, I don't have a team and the local high school would not be to thrilled if a 40 year old lady went out on their court.

Of course you don't wear the elementary school clothes. It would be a rare person that would fit in them. Just by the nature of growing taller, let alone any other changes our bodies have made, we can't fit. You also probably have at least one something you did once upon a time that just doesn't fit in with who you are right now.

Then, why is it that we hold on so tight to so many things? Relationships that don't work and aren't improving. Jobs or careers that we feel stuck in. Even business ideas that just don't feel right anymore.

Recently, I found myself forcing a concept into my business. I had felt so inspired when I originally had the idea. When I was told "your mess is your message" I could only see one mess, a literal mess in my house. As I healed more and more that original idea felt more and more heavy.

Instead of letting go I held tight. It was like I was trying to squeeze myself into those dresses from elementary school. I was even out on the wrong court cheering and wondering why it wasn't working. I wasn't giving myself credit for the growth I've had. It's kind of sad just like letting go of the dresses. I invested a lot of time and money in the idea.

I now recognize all that I have learned from that idea. I mistook a learning tool to support my eventual business as a mainstay of that business. Often we have things in our life for a season but we grab onto them like they were the core of who we are or what we do.

What a difference it makes to let it go. I feel lighter and more confident to move forward. What are you holding onto? Was it meant to be here for a season? Was it meant only to teach you? If it is meant to be here for a lifetime, are you choking it? Letting go could breath new life into it.

From my heart to yours,

Michele

P.S. With my growth has come and continues to come a lot of changes. If you haven't been to my site in the last 5 minutes go check out the changes. :)

Heart Style
Intuitive Life Design Coach

Have you had an Affirmation Checkup™?

January 16, 2013

MBTI = type?

As many of you know I am a fan of Carol Tuttle's work. She has a profiling system that uses movement and features to classify us into 4 basic groups. To learn you type and more about this system visit the Energy Profile site.

We think the MBTI would easily divide into the Energy Profiling system. There is a commonality when the 16 types are divided into 4 however this is not the same commonalty found in Energy profiling.

My friend Alexander Paulos created a system that classifies people into 16 temperaments similar to the MBTI. He uses features and movement to do this. It is based on science, like how hormones play a role, and dualities found in Quantum Physics. These dualities can also be referred to as Yin and Yang. The 16 temperaments have a further duality to consider that further divides into 32 different temperaments.

When dividing the temperaments into Energy Profiling one needs to use the 32 temperaments. My own experiences has show that inhibited people will likely be type 2s or 4s and disinhibited will likely be type 1s and 3s.

The true distribution of temperaments into types lies in Yin and Yang. How much Yin vs. Yang you have will determine which type you are. As I am not qualified in either system I cannot tell you which temperaments are which types. All I know for sure is that I am a type 2 in Energy Profiling and an Out-Curviplex-Circle-Wave-Inhibited in Paulos Recognition and my husband is a type1 and an In-Line-Box-Wave-Disinhibited.

I have found great personal clarity in both programs.  I would encourage you to participate in both programs as well. Energy Profile and Paulos Recogntion.

From my heart to yours,

Michele

Heart Style
Intuitive Life Design Coach