February 12, 2013

Quit or Heal?

Here I am, I'm going along living my life and clearing my stuff. Some days I wonder, "Is it worth it?" It's easy to remember the answer, "Yes, you're no longer depressed." Then there are the questions, "Will I ever see the end of this? Will I ever be cleared of what's in my way on this subject?" This is a hard one to hold onto faith for.

I've heard that people will generally experience problems in one or two of three general areas of life. I am sure there are more than three. The areas they mention are relationships, money and health. I'm one of the lucky ones that get all three. This leaves me with the question of what do I clear first?

I clear what's the most in my face. For a while it was mostly about finances. I am still expecting big changes, have had small, mostly I just feel better on the subject, more at peace. Recently I have been facing the way my kids ignore me and are often very rude. This isn't a general kids learning to be adults kind of ignoring.

I cleared on a Saturday, enough to where I could calmly get my daughter to help with her chore. I am always looking at: What in me creates this? Can I clear something in her? Etc.

Then comes Sunday. I got so angry with my 20 year old son. His room could be featured on those shows with gross homes. He literally can't walk anywhere in it. The door has been broken because he can't open the door. The 3 year old went in today and I feared for his life and couldn't even get over to him. I've argued and complained and begged for so long. I'm a natural peace maker so this is really hard for me. I pounded on his door and handed him a trash bag. I have never experienced him talking back to me so rudely in my life! I seriously didn't recognize him. He quickly apologized and I know he meant it as I could hear it in his voice.

So why am I telling you this? As I said just the day before I had been clearing on the respect and rudeness issue. It could be so easy to throw my hands in the air and say, "It didn't work!" How many times I've quit because it got worse after doing a clearing.

I now see it is sad to quit when it's so close to being totally gone.

Imagine you have a wound. In order to heal this particular wound you have to pull off the scab to extract the poison. With the scab off it's raw and boy does it hurt! This was me. I pulled off the scab of the rudeness wound. Now it's an open wound. It's raw. It's screening to be healed!

We have two choices in these times. We can quit, give up, say it's not working and stuff it again or we can heal it. We can recognize it wants to be healed. We've uncovered it so let's get it out! Have you had similar wounds opened?

From my heart to yours,

Healer of the Heart

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