March 29, 2013

Personality vs Nature

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Feeling Authentic. As I read through some of the comments I realized that soon I would be writing this post. I want to clarify the difference between personality and nature.

Personality is ever changing. In reality we create personality. We choose, whether conscious or not, to act certain ways in certain kinds of situations. Some of the things that affect this are birth order, other family dynamics, religious and community cultures, stages of life, etc. Personality can change from one activity to the next. One of my favorite examples to illustrate this is a tough dude and a baby. Take a big, tough dude and hand him a baby. You will see instant change! Will he get flustered and afraid of dropping the baby? Will he go all gaga and coo at the little one? There will be an instant change of some sort, this is personality.

I first became aware of personality when I was a teen or possibly even younger. My mom would say, "I hope you don't treat your friends like this." Is it necessary to say that it was said when I was fighting with my brother? Of course I didn't act that way with my friends. In some ways being at home allowed me to be the real me and yet there were ways that I couldn't be me. I had my "mom is here" personality. Out with my friends actually flipped those and so the ways I couldn't be me at home I could with my friends. At home I could express my anger vocally whereas with friends I'd bury it. In high school I created a personality that allowed me to be a cheerleader. For those that new me in elementary school this would be shocking. I was one shy elementary schooler!

Nature is constant. It shows up in whatever you do and within every personality. It may not be obvious at first but once you understand the thought processes you can see how they do end up subtly, and sometimes obviously, expressing themselves throughout your existence. Nature is also always based in dualities, commonly referred to ask masculine and feminine.

Do you look at a new event, or information, from a more logical analytic perspective or a more emotional intuitive perspective. I always pass things through my feelings and intuition first. When I consciously choose to do so I can also look at things analytically. This is always a secondary approach.

Another aspect of nature is whether you are more focused or more wavering. Focused people will often go from start to finish on a project. They stay focused on the end result. They can often be closed to new information. I'm more of a wavering type. Some waverish types will start a lot of projects but rarely finish one because something new has come into awareness. I tend to go in and out of projects until sometimes they actually get finished. I also am a lot more open to new ideas then many focused people are, without trying to be. For me to be focused on one thing takes great effort.

One of my favorites to understand is inhibited versus disinhibited. This is not the same as being quiet or shy because of being wounded. There is obvious difference to the trained eye. I can take on quite the hostess role. If someone met me for the first time while in that role, they might mistake me for disinhibited. If they watched close they would realize that I rarely interrupt, allowing others to say what they want or need. They would also see that I hold back, until I see safe openings, before I introduce myself to others. When I enter a new situation I will wait until I am comfortable before I interact. Other types of inhibited people could wait for other reasons.

There are other aspects of nature. It is my belief that we'll find it easier to live on purpose as we embrace our true natures. When we understand what is truth about us we can utilize the knowledge to create or dismantle personalities. Consciously being aware that we are using a personality gives us power. I know that certain situations are not in alignment with my true nature. I can choose to do them by preparing for and following up with self care. I can choose to avoid them. I can choose to delegate. I can even choose to find a way to do them while staying true to me. The choice is mine therefor the power is mine.


  1. Hi Michelle,
    Your blog is looking great well done. I have just made a collage that nourishes and support me and I have the words on it Stay You Stay True, that to me is what you are saying about nature. Being true to one's self becomes easier when we love and acceot ourselves more

    1. Thank you! I love that Stay You Stay True! For me finding things like whether I look at life logically or emotionally allow me to accept me for who I am. I spent a lot of years trying to be what I'm not. It truly is about loving and accepting ourselves!

  2. Michele, this post really struck a chord with me: my nature is very focused and my husband is very wavering. We struggle to work within each other's natures. We're good most days - because we're aware of how each other works - but some days it is a struggle. Any advice?

    1. I have thoughts to share on this. I will think more on this and post after our housework. I also want post from a computer not the tablet which I am currently on. :)

    2. Ok, Here are some of my initial thoughts. When we have struggles it is often because we have made some kind of judgment. It could be on ourselves or on them, or a little of both.

      I had the thought that you could write down your ideas on how you think things should be, and he can do the same. If needed you can compare notes. Sometimes when we know what the other person expects it helps us know how to respond.

      Remember, besides having different natures, neither of you were brought up in the same family. That means you'll both have ideas, along with society expectations, about the roles that you play. Comparing your ideas with each other, and your true desires, can go a long way toward easing troubles.

      I myself am a wavering type, as is my husband. I found that I had expectations on how men should be. This also caused problems. I am closer to the middle on the waver versus focused scale so it was common for me to take over, while resenting that I had to be focused, "because no one else would." The reality is that I didn't trust that he would step up when needed.

      My favorite tool when dealing with judgments is using the Access Consciousness clearing statement. "Good, Bad, Right, Wrong, All 9, Pod, Pock, Shorts, Boys & Beyond." I'm not sure if I spelled them all right. I think many are acronyms but I don't know for what. I don't know what they all mean; I do know that it works.

      Hope this helps!

      From my heart to yours!