April 25, 2013

Celebrate Success

I have been working for a long time on the potty training concept for my now 3 1/2 year old son. We have tried so much. Spending the day training the bear while drinking lots of juice and water. We'd sit my son on the toilet every 5 minutes. Inevitably, we learned that he knew how to hold it! He'd only pee after he got up. We  even tried giving him choices between the big toilet or a child's toilet, upstairs or downstairs. We tried to explain what we wanted and how. We of course talked to him about being big like the rest of us, including the other kids in the family.

I have been getting frustrated. Besides the financial ramifications of buying diapers, and the "what will the neighbors think?", I found for me the real desire was for him. How much easier for him to be able to go in and take care of business for himself. He'll get a sense of accomplishment. He'd get to be more independent, something he loves. With this in mind, I started asking, "How can I train him?" and "What's another way?" This opened me up for some inspiration about how to do things a little different.

Today, I told him that he could play outside after he went in the toilet. He did go in the toilet, and on the toilet and on the floor. Did I get mad about the mess? NO!!! I celebrated his great job! He didn't do it perfectly. It was the first time. That was one less smelly diaper to change and we all felt great! Later he also had a pee success! After all this time we finally are celebrating!

Now, why am I really telling you this? I became very aware of how we treat ourselves. How often do we actually celebrate our attempts? What if we make mistakes? Do we celebrate? Most often as adults we find ourselves beating ourselves up for the parts where we missed.

What would happen if I yelled at my 3 year old for the part of his attempt that missed the toilet? How likely would he get trained any time soon? So why then do we yell at ourselves when we make mistakes? Have you celebrated the part that worked? How about just celebrate the attempt!

I think it is time to PARTY! Celebrate! Is it a struggle to get up each day? Celebrate, even if it was only to go to the bathroom. How much likely are you to do more when you celebrate you?

Celebrate your success! Celebrate the parts that worked! Celebrate the attempt!

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6 comments:

  1. Its time to PARTY! I am in! What a great reminder. And using a the teaching of a child to demonstrate your point holds a certain power for me. Though I don't have children of my own and have never potty trained anyone, the gentle nature used in teaching a child doesn't need to be anything that we out grown completely. It really is the best way for any of us to learn and grow. :)

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    1. Exactly. we get to choose to nurture ourselves as we would a child! I'll bring the balloons! ;)

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  2. I love celebrations! Great job encouraging us to celebrate even the failed attempts. What a positive concept. As you shared with us, Michelle, your frustrations while potty training your son, we can all relate to it. Even those who have not raised a child can remember the experience of potty training a personal pet. Rewards and celebrations are powerful motivators. Cheers and let's celebrate.

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    1. Thank you! I'm all for celebrating! You are amazing just the way you are!

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  3. Lovely article and I think it says a lot, not just about the importance of celebrating successes, but I think "trying" gets a bad rap as being just a watered down version of failure. So many people buy into the all or nothing "you do or you don't, there is no try" and personally I think that sets a lot of people up to resist even trying.

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    1. Thank you.

      I have thought a lot on the concept of "do or do not, there is no try." I believe that putting forth our best effort is necessary. In this it is important to acknowledge and use the word try.

      I also see why so many want to eliminate the word try. They want us to believe that we can. Sometimes when people "try" they aren't really believing they can do it. We want to believe in ourselves.

      Maybe the new saying could be, "Do or do not, then celebrate whatever our best is."

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