June 15, 2013

Are You Sure?

When you set a time period intention and you are completely committed to that, you have invited into your experience all the obstacles that you get to overcome in order to be there.

It's like the inner me is saying, "Oh you want to love yourself and you have a goal deadline of August 8th? Perfect, well here is this because until you discover this limiting belief you'll not get there." So I deal with it. For me a recent one was realizing that I had a limiting belief of "I'm not lovable." It was huge to clear this up! By the way, I am very lovable!

So I had just conquered Mount I'm-not-lovable. Woohoo, I was feeling great! I had the huge aha moments on Thursday. That evening was awesome. The next day was super! Friday night before bed....

I hit another moment that would best be described as, "Are you sure?" I was looking at the almost entirely printed stack of divorce papers. I ran out of ink, or it would have been a complete stack. Out of nowhere I started to cry. I was so frustrated with myself for hitting another obstacle, I wanted more time in peace.

I had the thought to look back through my Power 90 Journal. I saw things I wrote about my buddy asking me about if divorce was really the right solution. I thought about all the other people who were literally asking me, "Are you sure?" I was so frustrated at the time. Now I am grateful. Each time someone asked I was able to more fully solidify my resolve. "Yes, this is right for me. My husband agrees. The children will be better off in the long run."

My obstacle wouldn't let me fully see what it was. It was showing up as failure and yet I knew that wasn't the real answer. I moved a lot of that energy anyway. It was like the failure concept was a wall around the truth. The truth is I doubt myself. It's a part of why my external world was literally asking me, "Are you sure?"

Woohoo, now that I have that awareness, that came while writing this, I can move that energy! I will then be able to trust that, "Are you sure?" could still show up but the meaning will be a question asking me how committed I am instead of a result of my self doubt.

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