December 22, 2014

Changing Focus, What Do I Want

My healing journey is one of constant morphing. An evolution as I am ready for new faster healing and as the people of the world are ready to change faster. Line upon line.

For most of my healing journey, I was looking for what was wrong. Looking for what can I clear or what can I let go of. A few months ago I started focusing to heal a particular relationship. An important relationship in my life that has been dysfunctional. My love for this person has been always been here yet at times, hard to find buried under the pain.

I wanted to clear things up. I knew that I could only change my own response, as well as the something in me that is attracting the experiences. So, I started my typical journey of fixing it by searching for what in me created the problem.

Just recently it dawned on me, I have been going about things backward. I have been focusing on what is wrong. It was time to consciously focus on what was good and what I wanted.

I kind of have done similar with other subjects. I wanted to attract into my experience my husband. I wrote out amazing things about him and our experiences. Then I just enjoy the wait for him to show up. As a belief, emotional or other blockage shows up I clear, but I don't go looking for them. What happens is I feel a trigger of sorts and since it's up in my face I clear it out.

I've used this in areas where the other person involved was someone I had never met. I have been afraid of altering the agency of others. The other day it hit me, I can't change them but I can change my experiences of them.

This won't change them, per say. If they are only a certain way with you and no one else, then I guess maybe it would change them. It creates what you will allow in your experience and how you respond. Any behavior they normally do that is not in alignment with what you will energetically allow from them cannot happen in your presence.

Some people call this idea a script. It never fully made sense to me. There was always a part of me that couldn't believe that they would really respond different. It was because while writing scripts before I was actually trying to change them. I was writing that they did this or that. This time it's all about me. My experience is... This allows them to stay them. If they cannot match my experience of them, then they would drop out of my experience until they have healed and changed to be in alignment with my energy. I like that too, the idea that they can return.

Using meditative writing, you too can try it. Pick an easy relationship that may only have a small issue to test it, or go ahead and pick a big one. If you feel resistance to the idea that it would work, then heal on the resistance first.

It's only been a short while for mine, but here is what I have already noticed different. Some of the same behavior that bugged me is still happening, but I don't react to it in the same way. Some things they did are even starting to go away. I don't feel the need to run away from being in the same room.

There is still an area that bugs me, and I realized I didn't write about that area. If I had written about it, then I would know that it is showing up to be released. I am focusing on what I want in a bigger way than I have ever done before and in so doing I am experiencing more than I have. When something wants to be healed it shows up for attention. Now my energy can say, “Oh you want things that way? Well, this is here in your way.” I heal and move on, again focusing on what I want.

I wanted this relationship healed for Christmas. I started nearly 3 months ago. I've been healing all along for this, but missing the real issues, as I was searching for what I thought was wrong. Just in time for Christmas things have switched incredibly. Now my energy has permission to let me know what really is in the way.

May you find healing in your life. Heal your relationships or other challenges in life, by focusing on what you want and just allowing. Allow the healing to show up for you, vs forcing it.

In love and light,


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