February 09, 2015

Is Codependency Weighing You Down?

Getting this whole balance thing in order has been quite a challenge. I have found that I have a lot of all or nothing thinking going on.

One thing that seems to have made a huge difference is letting go of some codependency energy. I found that I was giving myself a lot of shoulds that had nothing to do with my heart or my desires. They were all about pleasing others so that they wouldn't leave me. I have found that since releasing that energy I am feeling better about the things I need to do. A huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

It's really sad when you have beliefs and thoughts like I did. I didn't want to become successful because it would mean leaving someone. I was so stuck on the idea that if I left, things would not be okay for me, that person or whatever reason.

The truth is, without that energy, I can create happy choices that are right for me, allowing people to have their own choices and reactions. I can't change them. I don't need to enable them or them enable me.

I don't want to go into a marriage with that kind of energy. I want to be an independent person. We were never meant to be dependent on each other. We had that dependent stage as an infant and then we are supposed to grow into independence, becoming unique adult people. We can then go into a relationship as a partner, an equal, making decisions together for the best of the whole.

Codependent feelings do not allow for that. We'll always be looking for someone to take care of us, or that we can take care of. Yes, both sides of the coin, codependent and enabler are the same energetic coin. Often when we experience one, we can find areas in our lives where we experience another.

This is what I am finding as I seek balance, the ability to heal some of these kinds of things will allow me to walk into life with my head held high. I know I am accountable only for me. This allows me to get things done because there is less pressure.

So, how do you let this kind of energy go? Awareness of its existence is half the battle. Use the tools you have been lead to. One of my favorite tools, and its super easy to use, is the simple act of prayer.

With love and light,

Michele Lewis
Identity Specialist

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